Anyone who knows me or is a regular reader of this blog (If such a thing exists. Hi) will know that every year on Halloween night I like to close the curtains, grab a blanket and watch some seasonally appropriate content (usually a triple bill of horror movies). This year was no exception. So without further ado let's get straight into my thoughts and reviews of what I watched last night. Be warned that there are spoilers ahead.
Halloween III: Season of the Witch
Believe it or not I had never seen this movie before. Sure I'd heard about it and knew it was the great outlier, the only movie in the Halloween franchise not to feature the iconic Michael Myers, or indeed connect to the overall narrative in any way. I read a while ago that the intention at the time was for the Halloween franchise to transition into anthology stories, linked only by being connected to the night of Halloween itself. This is abundantly clear when watching the movie as it feels less like a complete film and more like an average episode of something like The Twilight Zone or The Outer Limits. Not bad but hardly worthy of the Halloween brand name or the talent involved from it (for example John Carpenter and Debra Hill returning as producers).
The story presented is a deeply strange mixture of occult horror, corporate satire and a heavy dose of science-fiction, the latter of which really threw me and rather unravels the film's verisimilitude (fabricated reality). There are some times when this clashing of genres works by coming off as eerie and unnerving but sadly the overall effect is just a mish-mash, a story at odds with itself and which ends up with zero internal logic. The evil scheme of the films villain is, for my money, never really explained to any level of satisfaction. Something about the old Celtic ritual of Samhain (pronounced Sah-Wen. No idea). The implication seems to be that he's appeasing some evil force or appealing to it for prosperity maybe? But if that's the case the man has an army of ultra loyal, hyper realistic androids, almost indistinguishable from real people and able to replicate them in a matter of hours (As with the heroine. At least a subversion of the "final girl" trope that this franchise created). Why engage in a bizarre and convoluted plot involving stealing a huge chunk of Stonehenge (it's never explained how, just that they had a rough time transporting it. Sure), microchips in Halloween masks and organising everyone around a signal pulse? Just use the android army if you want to rule the world. And if you want riches, you have a fleet of super advanced androids and you're selling latex masks! Maybe it was just for the "craic" (the Irish villain is said to love a great practical joke) or maybe he just really hates children. Certainly he seems to blame the corporate assimilation of the day on them, like a militant Christian who wants to murder everyone in a Santa hat. Whatever the case this whole plot is beyond hokey and impossible to take seriously, a far cry from the visceral real terror of the two preceding entries in the franchise.
There are some good points though. The early sense of atmosphere that the film sets up is actually pretty evocative of the earlier Halloween movies, helped along by lighting and photography. There's a lot of usage of the "man hiding with his back to frame" shots that were so disconcerting when it was Myers on the loose (here it's the killer androids). And of course the musical score co- written by the great John Carpenter himself is hard to fault. And as much as I hate the bloody jingle that seems to pepper the film every two minutes it is damn catchy and will stick in your brain.
Some of the kills too are memorable, but for very different reasons. The special effects rather let the film down at times when things are explicitly shown but there are some things you don't see directly which are effectively unnerving (a skull ripped apart, a drill through the face and a pretty epic decapitation by sheer pulling force being the stand out kills). Unfortunately there are as many killings that are memorable for the wrong reasons, soliciting laughter instead of scares for this viewer. An initial crushing by car looking like someone lost their favourite sex toy, a headless robot and a fight with a loose limb being the worst offenders here.
Overall then the film starts quite well. It's eerie, the villains seem menacing and unknowable (like Michael Myers) and most of the kills are good for their day. But around half way through the film completely devolves into a terrible schlock B-movie and never recovers. Indeed the resolution of the film is literally non-existent. An extremely nihilistic and affecting end (which reminded me of the likes of Invasion of the Body Snatchers) is awesome but not really earned. And so the overall impression is that you have half a story when you exit the experience. What exactly was the villainous endgame? What happened to the real heroine? Where did all these resources come from? Just what is the power of Stonehenge and where is it from? These are questions to which I will never get an answer. Mostly because they don't matter. And that's weak storytelling.
This film was not the worst time I've had watching a scary movie. I know there are some real fans of it. The basics of the premise are really intriguing and could have made for an interesting story with more work, ac rewrite and more attention to internal logic. And if you're just looking for a schlock B-movie then it's more than passable. But for me there are zero memorable characters or performances and despite the name the film can't hold a Jack-o-lantern candle to its predecessors.
**1/2 (2.5/5)
Ju-On: The Grudge 2
I bought this particular film a long time ago (literally years ago) and have just never got round to watching it. I absolutely love the first movie (the Hollywood remake is ok too) and bought it on sale because I was really intrigued to see more.
The plot of this film centres around the same cursed house and it's inhabiting ghosts as the previous movie, this time menacing and murdering the cast and crew of a paranormal investigation TV show that is filming there. Specifically the main character (other than the returning ghostly Kayako and Toshio) is the "horror queen" Kyoko and the through-line of the plot involves her pregnancy. This is creepy and affecting from the start immediately setting up a plot point that is both baffling and terrifying.
I refer to a through-line because the film is told in a series of vignettes. These are non-linear and occasionally overlap as well as skipping indiscriminately through time. This left me finding it very difficult to engage with the story. Events would happen then in the next "vignette" would not have occurred for the characters yet, leading me to be very confused for a large chunk of time. Dead characters reappeared before their deaths but after I'd witnessed them and then the film even gets into areas of showing dreams of events that never happened or dreams within these dreams. This is unsettling but really confusing. Additionally there are moments where effect can precede cause. A particularly powerful and awesome vignette concerns a woman bothered by banging on her wall at the same time every night, only for us to learn that she is hearing her own murder echo backwards through time. As a huge fan of sci-fi and time travel stories I really dug this but I can easily see how even this could leave some viewers lost. The film maintains this level of complexity and does not hold the viewers hand through it. Whilst this can make for some excellent emotional depth and surprises I can't help but feel that it may be an unnecessary gimmick and that the story told chronologically would be just as effective and certainly easier to understand and engage with.
There's lots to love here though. The ghosts that appear throughout are as memorable as ever. Whilst I was more unnerved than scared I can certainly see how some viewers could find these scenes terrifying. For me they were just incredibly inventive and instantly iconic. I don't want to spoil too much but there are lots of haunting deaths, all very different but brilliantly shot. The ending (a scene in a hospital) in particular is one of the best horror scenes I've seen in a while, a perfect combination of shock, terror, disgust, emotional trauma and white-knuckle intensity that will probably stay with you for a long time, especially if you're a woman.
The acting is impressive throughout with perhaps a little bit of generic character for some of the lesser "cannon fodder" background characters being all I could criticise. The whole thing looks incredible with some truly commendable direction, lighting, effects and sound design (the iconic sound of Kayako is very present and still creepy as heck). The ending is again rather nihilistic and open but left me intrigued to see more and hoping that the story developed the ideas here in future sequels. I would have preferred leaving with firm answers but that's just personal preference and the ride was excellent, if a little hard to engage with due to the story structure. I highly recommend this though.
**** (4/5)
The Simpsons Halloween Special V (aka Treehouse of Horror V)
Sure it's not strictly horror but the episode leans heavily on these tropes to parody them. The Shinning spoof on Kubrick's The Shining is simply pitch perfect. Copied shots, familiar beats inverted for humorous effect and some ingenious gags make for perhaps my favourite Simpsons Halloween vignette. If you have any familiarity with the movie then you must watch it, you won't be disappointed.
Time and Punishment is more of a Twilight Zone style sci-fi horror tale, playing with the idea of the butterfly effect really cleverly (although this theory is never directly referenced). The concept allows for multiple "what if" scenarios to be seen, each fascinating and often unsettling in various ways. There is even room for cameos by the great James Earl Jones, Peabody & Sherman, the aliens Kang & Kodos and possibly the greatest ironic punchline I've ever experienced ("oh look, it's raining again").
Nightmare Cafeteria, whilst the weakest of the stories, does contain the line of the episode ("Oh I'm bad at this") and present a memorable take on a familiar story which even allows for the hilarious inversion of a now iconic Bart Simpson line.
No scares here then but masses of laughs, great reverence for all things horror and an amusing overall special presentation from a show at the height of its powers.
****1/2 (4.5/5)
Hope everyone had a safe and happy Halloween. Be seeing you soon.
🎃🎃🎃🎃🎃🎃🎃🎃🎃🎃🎃🎃🎃🎃🎃🎃🎃
MM
