The Windmill Massacre - Review

I watched The Windmill Massacre over two sittings.  I'm not sure that this is the UK DVD box art but it certainly sums up the film rather well.  Make of that what you will.  There's no certification shown but I can confirm that the general release cut is 18 rated.

The Windmill Massacre is set in Holland and features a bunch of tourists who have all elected to get on a tour bus for a bit of a jaunt into the countryside, to take in some culture that isn't the red light district or cannabis cafes.  This is where things go very wrong.  It is quickly revealed that each character has a somewhat shady past and it literally comes back to haunt them.  Their lives are then put in danger by the thing from the box art shown above.

I'll just get it out there at this point in the review - this is a budget film in the sense that it is quite clearly made to a very specific price point.  I have no issue with watching a bit of shlock now and again and I'll presume that you don't either, given that you are reading Thursday The 12th.

That being said, better decisions could have been made on timing, special effects, pacing etc.  The first death in the film is so quick and so graphic - with requisite ropey effects - it'll probably have you in shock.  Just not in a good way.  Things that could have been hinted at are shown fully on camera.  This exposes the effects for what they are, namely often unimpressive to the point of silly.

The cast seem to be reasonably well chosen and each brings a suitable grimace of horror when presented with the 'sin' of their past.  Some pull off their wince-inducing death scenes better than others.  The acting, like the effects, leaves something to be desired.

I don't often write that there are no single redeeming features about any movie or TV show and I'm not about to start now.  I would say however that this is an unfortunate exercise in what could have been.  If the film makers demonstrated more care and subtlety in their art, perhaps even cutting out the jump scares completely, we might have had something far more interesting to watch.  Instead, we have a bit of a muddled monster-of-the-week story blended with some black magic and good old fashioned serial killer stalking.

Possibly best enjoyed if you have visited a cannabis cafe and had some absinthe for good measure.

Final score: 1.5/5.